she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Randomize
