How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
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