he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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