I think I died a long time ago.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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