I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Randomize
