I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize