so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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