Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
