Your tits are I can't wait for
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Randomize
