I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
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