Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(586): View more from Michigan

May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.

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(715): View more from Wisconsin

I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry

Fav 23 1947 4462
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(317): View more from Indiana

I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom

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(970): View more from Colorado

Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY

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(406): View more from Montana

A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.

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(719): View more from Colorado

Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.

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(321): View more from Florida Space Coast

Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.

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(616): View more from Michigan

I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels

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(402): View more from Nebraska

Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.

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