Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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