i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Floor bacon is actually really good
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
