garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I just found a bag of teeth...
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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