we're blogging at a bar
I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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