I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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