guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize