she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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