Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Randomize