he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize
