Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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