Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
