a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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