If that was your dad, he is hot
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
