Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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