no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Randomize
