i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Randomize
