Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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