I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Randomize
