Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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