____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
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