i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Randomize