We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
The uberlube is also flammable
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
dude. I can hear the air.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
