from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
