Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Randomize
