literally had 100 drinks last night.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize