He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
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