You're my little dorito
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
