If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
