So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
And then he peed in my hair
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