clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
