Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize