.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
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