I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
