Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize