Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
