I didn't shave. On purpose
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize