so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Randomize
