Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I cannot find my penis.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
