everyone is single if you try hard enough
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
So vagazzling was a success
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