I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
Randomize
