the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
