my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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