i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
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