would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
