My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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