i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
You need Xanax blowdarts
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
