how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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