She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
