How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Randomize
