No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
