i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
