Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize