eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
