Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
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