Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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