A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Randomize
