You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
