I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
