Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Come share oat with me in your robe
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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