sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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